What comes next?

So what then?

I'm still on ON mode. Expecting the flow to continue to surge. it's in the trickle parts of the river that I start to question the finer details. The focus blurs and I scramble around looking for the familiar signs that everything is going to be OK. What if the camp doesn't go well? What if I end up doing it all on my own? Will i be able to hold a space with 10 children all on my own?

The gnawing question that remains is, how do I share my heart clearly and openly so that I can continue to build my dream?

What would it take to find the balance between my life service and my well-being?

New Beginnings

It's been a BEAUTIFUL and daring journey this past month. I have been given so much support just at the right time. I was feeling desperate and enormously challenged. Sharing my anxiety with a few friends was just the right medicine!

My two years running the project has offered a great many learning points and I now know that if I want to make it a sustainable initiative, I need to transform CEED into a different form. The essence remains the same but the structure needs a complete overhaul. Hence, I have decided to direct all my attention to transforming CEED into a wilderness awareness/holistic healing learning school. To this end, I have two wonderful friends helping me realise this vision. It has not yet solidified and I am resting in the tall grass waiting for just the right moment to pounce!

My last major event that I held for the children living in Blikkiesdorp was to take them on a camp to Greyton. Effectively, I would like to see CEED grow into that space - where we would be able to do concentrated, intensive, deepening sessions with children living in temporary relocation camps. The 5 children that form the core Creative Collective will act as mentors/ "big sisters and brothers" (as they are fast becoming young teens) and will help facilitate and organise the rest of the camp attendees. I have shared this vision with the children and they are so excited. Their enthusiasm and joy is so much fuel to the passion I have to continue working with and learning from them.

So, whilst I am not working every Saturday with the children, I do see them a few times within the month. They continue to grow in beauty and although they face a lot of very challenging emotions everyday, they are well. We are well.

Being tired

I've held Creative Education for 2 beautiful years.
I've given my love and attention to it and cried, laughed, fought, meditated, planned, improvised, shared - I lived it for 2 years.

I chose to leave South Africa at the end of 2011 to generate a greater flow of income that would enable me to ground down into living with Creative Education sustainably. On my return 9 months later, I had accumulated some money, but unfortunately not enough to meet my needs of financial stability to run the project smoothly.

I met with the children and their parents. So much time had passed and with the passage of time, so much in turn had changed, shifted, grown. My conversations with the children have taken on a more inquisitive, curious slant as they express and share their knowledge about sexuality and relationships. It is wonderful!

It has been beautiful and it has also been very challenging. So, after two years, I'm tired, tired of reaching in, pulling in, pulling out, tired of feeling sad and experiencing sensations of being overwhelmed, so I am allowing my project to rest until I can sustain both my Self and my project without effort. It has been a lot to hold.

It was enriching, enlivening, truly beautiful to be part of the children's lifeworld's and to feel the comfort and ease in which we all expressed. Being, just simply being with the children is the essential part of Creative Education. It has been a privilege to be so welcomed, so received and so connected to them.

I will stay in communication with them and when the moment is ready to hold this space again, I will.

Thank you to everyone who supported us throughout the 2 years. Thank you for making my wildest imagination become reality. I am grateful.