I've done the structure but yet it feels weak

I have two years behind me.
I have 10 children.
I have funding.
I know where we are going.

So why the trepidation?
Why the insecurity?
Why the intense feeling of wanting to let it all go?

Who has answers? Efua, tell me something!
 

What comes next?

So what then?

I'm still on ON mode. Expecting the flow to continue to surge. it's in the trickle parts of the river that I start to question the finer details. The focus blurs and I scramble around looking for the familiar signs that everything is going to be OK. What if the camp doesn't go well? What if I end up doing it all on my own? Will i be able to hold a space with 10 children all on my own?

The gnawing question that remains is, how do I share my heart clearly and openly so that I can continue to build my dream?

What would it take to find the balance between my life service and my well-being?

New Beginnings

It's been a BEAUTIFUL and daring journey this past month. I have been given so much support just at the right time. I was feeling desperate and enormously challenged. Sharing my anxiety with a few friends was just the right medicine!

My two years running the project has offered a great many learning points and I now know that if I want to make it a sustainable initiative, I need to transform CEED into a different form. The essence remains the same but the structure needs a complete overhaul. Hence, I have decided to direct all my attention to transforming CEED into a wilderness awareness/holistic healing learning school. To this end, I have two wonderful friends helping me realise this vision. It has not yet solidified and I am resting in the tall grass waiting for just the right moment to pounce!

My last major event that I held for the children living in Blikkiesdorp was to take them on a camp to Greyton. Effectively, I would like to see CEED grow into that space - where we would be able to do concentrated, intensive, deepening sessions with children living in temporary relocation camps. The 5 children that form the core Creative Collective will act as mentors/ "big sisters and brothers" (as they are fast becoming young teens) and will help facilitate and organise the rest of the camp attendees. I have shared this vision with the children and they are so excited. Their enthusiasm and joy is so much fuel to the passion I have to continue working with and learning from them.

So, whilst I am not working every Saturday with the children, I do see them a few times within the month. They continue to grow in beauty and although they face a lot of very challenging emotions everyday, they are well. We are well.

Being tired

I've held Creative Education for 2 beautiful years.
I've given my love and attention to it and cried, laughed, fought, meditated, planned, improvised, shared - I lived it for 2 years.

I chose to leave South Africa at the end of 2011 to generate a greater flow of income that would enable me to ground down into living with Creative Education sustainably. On my return 9 months later, I had accumulated some money, but unfortunately not enough to meet my needs of financial stability to run the project smoothly.

I met with the children and their parents. So much time had passed and with the passage of time, so much in turn had changed, shifted, grown. My conversations with the children have taken on a more inquisitive, curious slant as they express and share their knowledge about sexuality and relationships. It is wonderful!

It has been beautiful and it has also been very challenging. So, after two years, I'm tired, tired of reaching in, pulling in, pulling out, tired of feeling sad and experiencing sensations of being overwhelmed, so I am allowing my project to rest until I can sustain both my Self and my project without effort. It has been a lot to hold.

It was enriching, enlivening, truly beautiful to be part of the children's lifeworld's and to feel the comfort and ease in which we all expressed. Being, just simply being with the children is the essential part of Creative Education. It has been a privilege to be so welcomed, so received and so connected to them.

I will stay in communication with them and when the moment is ready to hold this space again, I will.

Thank you to everyone who supported us throughout the 2 years. Thank you for making my wildest imagination become reality. I am grateful.

Moving on up

It has been a busy 2 and a half months.

After much thought I have decided to move forward with Creative Education. Moving forward means that I have now registered us as an Nonprofit organisation (NPO) and have joined the ever-growing fleet of collectives working in different places around the world. I was hesitant to move us in that direction as I had/have my reservations about 'bureaucratising' community work, but paper-work aside, I think and feel that more good will come from opening up channels that allow for a greater flow of inspiration and staying-power. So, after a year of working with the Creative Collective, I am happy to report that we are moving full steam ahead!

In the process of registering us, I had to draft a Constitution and gather a Board and Office-bearers to keep things afloat. It takes two months for the Directorate of Nonprofit Organisations to give us the "OK". When our application has been approved, they send us a certificate after which we will be officially recognised as a community initiative/charity with a registered number. Having us registered means that we can pool in more funds, which means I can begin to employ people, which means that Creative Education can begin to stand in its own center, independent of my direct influence. At a later stage, I will pull out from the Director position, at which point someone wonderful will continue with the running of it.

...But all of that is still some time in the future, and I have to keep reminding myself not to run too far ahead of myself. In the mean time, our work together has not come to end despite Creative Education being a one-year educational model. We continue here in south Africa as I try and secure them a place at a fantastic school called Christel House (http://www.sa.christelhouse.org). Here, their growth will continue to be fed, nurtured and cared for, so we are looking forward to the success of their applications.

I am also about to start a new job in Coimbra, Portugal, and will be pushing my boundaries a bit as I attempt to take Creative Education there. I am hoping to work with refugee children there but obviously, I have to get a better sense of my place, space and capabilities in Portugal. Having two sites on different continents to work from is great because it means that I may begin to grow Creative Education globally and also (as a by-product) it will allow for better communication between children around the globe. In terms of stewarding the NPO ship here in Cape Town, my first job is to create some in-flow of capital. For the next couple of months, I will be fundraising and marketing as much as I can. So, let me begin her: If anyone knows of an institution that wants to support Creative Education in any way, please contact me on, Createducation@gmail.com

One year later, I found myself getting out of my car in Blikkiesdorp for possibly the last time in a long while. This past Wednesday, I had to say good-bye to the children. Although of course I will be seeing them from time to time (hopefully throughout their lives) the finality of our year working together bore heavily down on me as I hugged them, my mouth barely able to shape the words "bye guys". In reflection, it is undeniable how much healing these 6 and at one time 10 children have brought to my life. I have learnt significant amounts from my work with them, and as I move forward, they remain stalwart guides showing me the many ways to love. 

When fullness marks the beginning

This week for the children was a particularly difficult week. Drug-related gang violence presented itself in several rounds of bullets that lasted hours at a time.  The children explained that they had to "sink" during the night, forcing them to find sleep on the cold cemented floor. The violence had begun between "merchants" (drug-dealers/gangsters) from differing blocks who were fighting over drug-selling territory. But of course this is just the tip of the ice-berg. What lies beneath the surface is seemingly a moving mass that holds layers of traumatic experiences that for now I can only describe as the residual effects of inherited generational trauma.

When I arrived to pick them up, we greeted each other as we always do - with hugs, smiles and laughter. I had heard the night before from a friend of mine about the gang war that had broken out. Had I not received the news the night before I would never have guessed that their experience that week was terrifying. They were their usual candid selves. It was only when we began the 30 min drive into the city that they began to tell me about the shootings. In their re-telling of the past events, they expressed the details in a manner that reflected their own fascination of the unfolding drama. Additionally, they told me about a young girl of 10 who was found hung in her tin home. One of the children had witnessed the girl pass from life into death and had heard her last whispered words.

Even to write about it I find difficult. How can express the complexity of human emotion I felt and still feel as I digest these stories. Their stories remind me of a time when I was about their age and I was staying in Ghana. We were living near a military training school and on a few of the evenings the soldiers would have shooting practice. I remember the complete and utter terror that enclosed my racing thoughts. I was immobilized in my bed, and so wrapped in fear. The reality in that situation was no where near their reality. I was in a double-storey house two huge blocks away from the military school. I was in no danger.

It was the sound that ripped recklessly through my ears. The sound of the bullets cracked every defense I had, shatterring any logical thought. I just remember being too afraid to breathe. So, when the children tell me these stories I remember those moments of fear that were only remedied with the reaffirmation that I was adequately sheltered, and situated very far from the bullets, which is not the same for the children.

They say when the sun sets they have to be indoors. Anyone seen walking at night will immediately be ambushed and knifed as it is assumed that if you're walking around at night then you are a drug-dealer. So not only have the kids been imprisoned internally with fear they are also locked behind doors after 6pm.

It was with this emotional charge that we arrived at the University of Cape Town (UCT). I had chosen this place as we have no formal working space and so it was the next best learning environment that I could think of. My intention was for us to work through their new play that they developed on camp and talk about what needed to be done in order for it to materialise into a wonderful performance. In reflection, our day together now seems like a perfectly situated deviation from a fear-full week. It makes complete sense to me now how they just wanted to lie languidly in the sun. How for them doing absolutely nothing but lying in the sun on the green grass was their way of coping. The day was beautiful. The sun shone without intimidation and the quiteness of campus on a Saturday morning nursed the children's unspoken emotions.

Subsequently, they have chosen not to perform a play. They have chosen instead to write a book. As we sat altogether, a volunteer and I tried to encourage them to plug into exploring their creativity. I realised that their minds and hearts are too full for now. Their creative expression is seemingly under strain as they continue to load their lived experience with one trauma after the other. Perhaps there is a link between ones capacity to learn new things and ones level of experienced suffering. I worry that their disengagement from learning new things, is the beginning of a dangerous dance that may lead them to a precarious edge. Should I have been more insistent that they stay focused on using their creativity?

I see them again in one months time and it is then they have said they will hand me their written book ready for typing-up and publishing. My suspicion is that the book will not be written in my absence, but this is an assumption and assumptions have never gotten me anywhere.

I'm left wondering if I should continue seeing them every weekend, providing them with what they have requested (a space to just hang out in) or stick to my time allocation for Creative Education. Technically, our time together is approaching the end, and our last two months together signal my "exit" plan which means I only see them twice in one month as opposed to every weekend.

Should I stay with them every weekend or should I go? What should I do? How do I go?

How do I leave knowing their world is hanging between a great divide.

Camping, Filming and Having it Good

We took a month break after our very successful final project, "Theatre on the Move". For those that either could not attend or are unfamiliar with what this project is all about, the children wrote, set-designed, costume-designed and directed a theatrical performance entirely on their own. The play they conceived explored themes of violence, gangsterism, drugs, teenage pregnancy, multiple partners and generational conflict. They called this play 'Neighbourhood' and reflected upon it as a descriptive performance about their daily lives.

The performance was held at The New Africa Theatre to a full house on both the morning and afternoon shows. The morning show was open to family, friends and the wider public, and the afternoon show was performed to school-going children between the ages of 15 and 18. Both audiences responded positively and the children were thrilled at the reception of their performance. They said that they felt like "superstars" and were visibly moved by the comments and congratulations they received. Additionally, they gained a tidy sum of money that they wanted to use toward a celebratory party and our future camp. Half of the proceeds they divided amongst themselves and the rest they put towards their camp.

One month later, we were heading out passed Sir Lowry's Pass to Greyton for our camp. Our destination was the Blue Hippo Tipi Village. We set out in the late afternoon and arrived there in the early evening where we settled into where we would spend the next four days. Our intention for the camp was to go deeper into the emotions that the themes in the play brought about. Broadly reflecting, the next four days would be a "detox". We practiced yoga and meditation, held reflective sessions, went on walks and ate a healthy, well-balanced diet.

I had also had an idea a few months ago to create a film about the lives of the Creative Collective. They had impacted my life in so many brilliant and dynamic ways that left me wanting to create more avenues of growth and prosperity for them. I shared the idea with my sister who is a film-maker and we immediately began preparing how we could materialise this idea into reality. We weaved together a narrative to drive the film through the creative genius of my sister's mind and before we knew it, filming had commenced centering around the play, the camp and how the children wanted to develop their creativity. 

Four days went by in a flash. The morning of the departure back to Cape Town crept in, in a way that felt too soon. The bus journey back was mostly in silence as we left the grand mountains and lush green hills behind us. When we arrived back in Blikkiesdorp, the children 'comedically' pretended that they didn't live there. They described their home as if they were outsiders who were observing the overwhelming poverty around them. They said, "Who lives here in such poverty?! These people are so poor"! They laughed at one another as the van came to a stop outside their tin homes, refusing to get out as they adamantly (in humour) stated that this was not where they lived.

Although they had made light of their environment on returning home, I was deeply saddened. I felt the foreboding charge present at the centre of their humour and knew it came from a total and utter dissatisfaction of their environment. I am still digesting those last few moments in the van.

We all loved the camp tremendously and it remains a stalwart guide in our journey. We wrapped up filming yesterday (5th July 2011) and hopefully with some more funding we will be able to add to what promises to be an already beautiful, engaging, and informative film.

Getting to know the children over the passed months has been an honour and is a continued pleasure. 

Playing in the Forest

I always find it absolutely magical how nature unravels the folds, stretching the senses, which allows for exponential growth.

We arrived in the forest on a beautiful Wednesday morning. We pulled up into the parking-lot of the forest, the trees arching and reaching in a medley of greens and browns. For me the forest immediately adds grace to my pace. I so often get into the rhythm of great speed and sometimes struggle to find the spaces in between to take respite to just breathe deeply. So, visits to the forest are welcomed always. Moreover, to share the experience with loved ones amplifies my feelings of gratitude. I'm happy to feel that bringing the children to the forest was a wonderful idea. They lapped-up all the lush 'greenness' around them. Bounding up the narrow paths, fishing for tadpoles in the mountain streams, picking up de-robed exoskeletons, hanging upside down from trees, climbing into the high canopy of the forest and generally unwinding in the expanse and abundance of the forest.

I found time to have reflective conversations with the girls in particular. The boys had run on ahead and the girls walked at a slow pace up the mountain paths. We spoke about relationships and what they meant to them. They shared stories about their boyfriends and what they expect and receive from their partners. Speaking about relationships and their expectations allowed for a deepening of understanding in terms of how they perceive themselves. Each of the girls have a distinct and specific way of reflecting and expressing what and how they feel. Whilst listening, I wondered about the journey along which they had been that allowed for them to express their viewpoints in the way they did, what experiences had informed their ideas, who reified and fortified meaning into their observations, and where exactly was the birth place of such ideas. When our conversations had subsided, I turned my recorder off. The girls then requested that they hear what they had just shared. I replied that we could collectively listen to it in the car on the way home, as we had now re-joined the boys and had also reached the highest reach of the contour path. We decided to head back down as I wanted us to practice our play before dropping them back at home.

When we reached the bottom, we feasted on a few berries that we plucked off the tree before sitting on the grass patch for a quick lunch. Some of the children had not brought a lunch (I had asked them on this occasion to bring their own packed lunch to share and I would supplement it with juice and fruits). The children were familiar with these berries and so harvested them in great numbers.I wondered, and still wonder if the 'great harvest' was a substitution for not having a pre-packed lunch. Those that brought food graciously shared what they had.

During our lunch we got a chance to see a helicopter take off which was very exciting for us all. It was a first time for all our eyes and we laughed and smiled in astonishment as great gusts of air swirled around us as the helicopter began to rise. After lunch we had a short practice and then headed back home. During the car ride we listened to the conversations we recorded earlier. The children clutched the recorder close to their ears two-by-two, listening to what they had said. I thought it was an interesting way to be self-reflective.

Wishing Mobiles

Our first session in our new space.

We fitted well in there. Our little room of delight.

We began the day with our usual morning meditations. I enjoyed today's meditation especially as it combined words with repetitive action. The words are as follows:

   I am brave
   I am bold
   My own Spirit
   I can hold

These words are said in accompaniment to the loveliest gestures of the body and hands. As always, we ended in hysterical laughter, which always ushers us into a positive space of healing and creativity. In high spirits, we began to make 'Wishing mobiles'.

Mira Matthew, a friend of mine conducted a short workshop on how to make these mobiles. We had our sticks, colourful wool, and beads all set-out in front of us. Once the mobiles were complete, the children were asked to write one wish they felt really strongly about. These wishes they had to keep to themselves. I asked them to write their wish down holding the intention of its manifestation in their minds eye. With these in mind we headed down to the ocean to deliver our wishes to the expansive waters.

Throughout the day I had very interesting conversations with the children about what wishes meant to them, how they felt when their wishes came true and how they felt when they didn't manifest. For the most part they were rather skeptical of wishes, with only one of the 6 children saying that once upon a time, his wish came true. He had said he had wished upon a shooting star when he had seen one and soon after that, his wish came true! I would like to explore this notion of wishing more in future sessions as I believe it to be a powerful mechanism for transformation.

Another observation that struck me was when we were at the ocean. The boys had taken off their shirts and had flung themselves enthusiastically into the waters edge. At the sight of this, one of the girls commented that she wished she could do the same. I replied that she could if she wanted to, emphasising that it was important to know that ones gender ought not to be thought of as a limitation to freedom and enjoyment. She laughed in a surprised way at my suggestion that she could just hold her breasts, keeping them covered with either her arms or her hands. She explained that for her being bare-breasted was "geraam", meaning "wrong". She then went on to say that perhaps it would be fine for me as I was African.

We continued discussing her ideas of what an African was and the moral imperatives that resulted in such a conceptualization of identity. Throughout it all, she maintained that she was definitely not an African, but that she was 'Coloured'. Once again, this is another topic that I wish to explore with the children that I had hoped we would discuss through the Connecting project.

There is much still to cover and so many subjects that I wish to creatively explore with the children.

We ended the day with me in a cloud of thought as we drove home, the children cautiously questioning me as to whether I was angry with them. Seemingly my silence is perceived as an indication of discord. I reassured them that I loved them dearly and that I was only thinking very deeply about life, the universe and everything.

Falling in love and Consequently Losing Control

It feels a lot this week. It feels like I'm on a runaway train and I'm running around inside the train trying to make sure that the abandoned full cup's of tea in the food-carriage, do not spill any of their contents. I feel like I'm going somewhere at a rapid pace and at the same time stripping the tracks as I race through, making it difficult for me to navigate the origins of my intensions.

The room that we are renovating is looking so much better than what we were first presented with. We have worked hard on it, but a week and half down the line still not complete and I am feeling exhausted, over-stretched and anxious to complete it all before the weekend. It leaves me with a teary feeling....

This feeling of non-achievement drips menacingly into the other jobs that I do, compounding my insecurity of failure. I have dreamed a big dream here with Creative Education and I think this week, I am acknowledging the weight of my dreams.

This past Saturday with the children, I realised how much I loved them. It was a stone-cold realisation. I suddenly in a moment felt for the first time the enormity of what we were creating together. Realising this filled me with a sense of fear. In a flood of thoughts, I clung desperately onto the idea that I knew exactly what I was doing. I had to.

I do know what I am doing....don't I?

The Show Goes On

This past Saturday we spent half our session writing letters to our American partners and the other half was spent working on our play. Their letters are so lovely and I hope we find an audience on the other side. Communication has been fragmented and we have not found something concrete we can build on. I am anxious too, that my links with schools in Ghana have not been finalised. It fills me with a great sense of unacomplishment to have promised something and as of yet, not been able to deliver. I feel something of a hypocrite considering I am immensely critical of the governments botched promise to give people housing.

On a happier note, we moved! We are now housed at:

The PanAfrican Market

Room Number: 220

76 Long Street

Cape Town, South Africa

8001

Maxine, a wonderful DIY lady called Daniella and I were chipping, scrapping and ripping the room down and up! Today we fill the 1 million holes that are sprayed across the walls and begin sanding the wall surface down. Fun, fun fun!

We meet with the children again this coming Saturday to continue with the play.

Perhaps I could also bring along a 3G stick to connect them to some of my friends online....

Yes, no, maybe?

Heading out and coming back

We had a day that left me anxious, exhausted and thoughtful amongst other emotions.

We began the day, picking up the children from Blikkies. On entering the large barren football pitch that is located in the centre of Blikkies I noticed that a play area was being constructed. Workers were putting up a seesaw, slide and some swings. The poles were brightly coloured and even before it was complete a large crowd of children had begun clambering over the incomplete structures. The play area was being constructed over the hard, gritty sand, creating a space for future broken bones, scratches, bruises, aches and pains. Furthermore, this area is also where the huge industrial bin is kept. The community regularly deposits and burns their waste here. No attempt was made to remove the bin and it is now every bit part of the play area. In fact when we returned later, the contents in the bin were alight, and more than 150 children were playing unwatched, in and on the swings, seesaw and slide.

I began asking the community what their thoughts were on the latest addition to Blikkies. Everyone that I spoke to said that it was in bad-taste. One informant said that it was a "danger for the kids". She went on to say that there was already a lot of diarrhoea and stomach illnesses and that putting the play area so close to the bin was terrible and meant more visits to the hospital. In her opinion, instead of constructing a play area, they ought to have put down a bit of lawn for the kids to play on. Others had similar thoughts about the location and all had no idea who was behind its construction. I could have spent the rest of the day interviewing people about their thoughts but I had made a prior appointment with the children. Today was our day to visit the Baxter theatre, go for a swim and then head to the circus! I turned my attention on the children and so began our adventure!

One of our previous members had chosen not to attend our sessions anymore and on this day she stood with the others, waiting for us to arrive. She had not been coming to Creative Education for the past three weeks. She had met a boyfriend and since then her life had changed dramatically. She has begun to hang out with an older-aged friend base and has changed the clothes that she wears. She is far more conscious of her appearance and is more reserved in her movements compared to previous weeks. I rejoice in her journey and find it remarkable how simple and swift the passage from childhood into adolescence is.

I was happy to see her as I had not had the chance to connect with her since her decision to leave. She stood there sometimes biting her nails and other times hugging her chest tightly. I greeted her warmly and asked how she was. She seemed nervous, shy and awkward around me, which was a manner of interaction with her that I was not familiar with. I tried to ease her mind and body, as I asked after her health and well-being. I then explained to her that unfortunately I had assumed she was not coming and consequently did not make preparations for her presence in the day. She nodded silently. I sensed she felt caught in between her feelings and thoughts. I imagined that she wanted to have both Creative Education and her new circle of friends, but that Creative Education was not a “cool” thing to pass ones time with on a Saturday.

The other children who attend Creative Education did not ease her silence and persisted to tell me (in front of her) that she was "mad to have given up Creative Education", because of the fun things that we do, specifically our outing days. I assured her that she could rejoin us anytime she liked. I also said that it was unfortunate that I had not made extra preparation, but that if she wanted she was more than welcome to come the following Saturday. She once again nodded silently. I then asked the rest of the children to jump into the cars so that we could head to the Baxter. When we were all safely packed in, the girls in the car I was driving and the boys in the car my male friend was driving - Seating arrangements were organised by the girls.

At the Baxter theater we were treated to a very informative and excellent tour. We went behind the scenes and had a short tutorial on the different roles each member of a theatre company has. It was fascinating. Next we headed to the Turkish baths on Long Street where there is a public swimming pool. We swam for a little over an hour and soon it was time to head to have some lunch before heading to the circus. The children were very reluctant to leave the pools and constantly asked if we would be coming back later. We then had lunch in the Company Gardens, where we went through the theatre piece that the children are slowly putting together. They said that they would practice before we meet next so I am really looking forward to this coming Saturday! After lunch we went to Zip Zap circus to see some of the performers practice for a show that is up-coming. We sat and watched the performers fling themselves high in the air and also entangle themselves with strips that hung from the ceiling.

It was soon time for us to return to Blikkies. The children fell fast asleep as I drove the 20 minute journey back home. When we arrived, they sleepily clambered out of the car. Our day of adventure had come to a close.

Movement

This past Saturday we began the Theatre on the Move project. The story that is unfolding does not strike me as surprising - it is a love tragedy in a neighbourhood setting that is replete with gangsterism, drugs, and corruption. Through this project I intended to foreground themes and topics that are most relevant to them. By asking them to develop their own story and access their creative wisdom through theatre, I wanted to explore their 'internal' narratives. It did not strike me as surprising that the story which they created was one that mirrored their daily observations. It is a powerful story that for me reflects the violence that is part of their reality.

The group is now comprised of 6 children and not 9. One of the children moved back to live with his grandmother outside of Blikkiesdorp, another has other interests that come with age (she fell in love with someone, leaving behind her childhood and transitioning into adolescence), and the other we have decided will no longer be with us (he was not committed to joining in on the activities).

Deciding to exclude one of the children was a difficult choice for us to make. Even now, I feel sad. It's interesting for me - learning about boundaries, how to assert them, how to meet everyone's needs in the most peaceable of way.

This is the last official project we will be doing with the children. It will end with a wonderful exhibition of all that they have created. After that we will have another break where Maxine and I will be searching for a different site to work in. The cycle continues.

We are connected!

For the past couple of weeks I have been in wonderful communication with a representative of the John Hopkins University who has been fantastic in organising, facilitating and communicating how we can make the Connecting Project a reality. We are scheduled to begin exchanging letters, emails, packages, ideas, thoughts and lives with children across the globe from Cape Town!

Both the children and I are super excited to begin and I find myself constantly thinking about how it will all work out. Will the children love it? Will they lose enthusiasm? It's all a first time for me and I am constantly monitoring and evaluating my actions and my thoughts.

I have not yet been successful in linking with a school in Egypt and given the current revolutionary energy there, I am inclined to suggest to the children that they choose another country in Africa. I have existing links in Ghana, Kenya, and Madagascar, but that is it. So, tomorrow when I do see them, we can have a discussion as to what other countries they could be interested in linking with.

In terms of funding, I have been working toward manifesting a sizable in-flow. I am seeking out information about how to better fundraise and some of the feedback I have been getting has been to register Creative Education as a Non-profit Organisation. I must look seriously into that. For me it would be a huge step. I guess I am a little nervous to step up to the plate...

But, to end on a flying-high-kind-of-a note, we are doing a very cool mapping exercise tomorrow where the children will be talking about how the space around them impacts their sense of identity. Plus, next week we go online with the children in Baltimore, USA! 

A massive and loving thank you to Dr Katherine Newman and Erin Galloway of the John Hopkins University.

Meditating and Growing

We began our day trying to erect our magical blue tent where classes are always held. In the past we have been assisted by two adults in the community but on this occasion, the setting up of the tent was orchestrated by Maxine, the children (we have now grown and our classes consists of 9 children!) and me. We tried to dig deep holes into the already compacted soil to secure the tent but were unsuccessful in putting it altogether. The wind whipped and wrapped itself in and around the tent. We all grabbed firmly onto the edges to prevent the entire wobbly structure from flying up, up and away! After 30 minutes of 'parachuting' the children sought another plan.

They mentioned that there was an empty tin shelter that we could use instead of the tent. I was informed to ask permission from one of the community leaders to use the broken shelter for our classes. Once permission was granted we moved into our new location, amongst the labyrinth of other sliver homes. I had previously tried to get a shelter but getting hold of officials working for the Cape Town City Council was virtually impossible. When I eventually was successful, I had been told that I did not qualify for a shelter and could therefore not occupy one. There were thousands of people waiting for shelters already and my occupancy for only one day a week was not feasible.

So, finally being granted a broken/dismantled shelter, I was overjoyed. Our new 'home' is just perfect! I had been thinking for a while that we desperately needed to relocate to a different area where there were not too many distractions and we could earnestly make head-way with our projects. I had thought about moving the project to town but that was going to cost more money and having just quit one of my jobs, and taking on an employee for Creative Education, I was concerned that my 3 other jobs were not enough to sustain us.

Therefore, arriving at our new Creative Education Hub was a relief. We were all excited. We laid some mats on the floor, sat around in a circle and begun our day together with a meditation.

Connecting in the new year

The year begins in full swing.

We start the Connecting Project this week after taking a long December break. I have asked the children to choose two countries, one in Africa and one other country wherever they prefer. They have chosen America and Egypt and so begins my preparation to create nodes of communication in these two countries.

On my last visit to Blikkies I had given the children cameras to start the ball rolling with this project. This Saturday I will be collecting these and we will be discussing what types of pictures they took and why. I will also be asking them to write about the countries they have chosen. I would like them to reflect upon their ideas of these countries. Later, the children will be creating a map of Blikkiesdorp, indicating the areas that are most important to them. Once these areas are identified, we will ask them to write a short paragraph about why these spaces are of importance to them. In these paragraphs we would like the children to share what activities one can do and also what one can see there. Using this content, we draft letters to some children in the two countries identified.
 The main idea is to establish relationships outside of their immediate circle of communication and to broaden their sense of both their innner and external worlds. Furthermore, this project endevaours to teach children about people and communities in Africa and the world, encouraging dialogue and exchange. It is also hoped that the children use this as a platform to reflect upon their emotions and feelings.
I'm looking forward to seeing them again and continuing with creative Education!

If anyone knows or has a link to children of a similar age (12 - 16 years old) in either America or Egypt please let us know. Let's make our cirlce bigger!

Observing the Cycle

Every visit feels as though it is my first time. The environment of Blikkiesdorp (Blikkies) strikes me. I am silenced on entering the gates. The compacted, rocky, barren sand sends my thoughts into a myriad of interwoven, internal narratives as I try to make sense of what is going on there. There are so many people living there and for all my critical analysis, I cannot seem to make head or tail about how government policy has completed failed to provide the basic requirements of health and education given that they have forcibly placed people to make a life there temporarily. How did this barren field of depletion become home to thousands of people?

Blikkies is a site where people are waiting for the promised government subsidised housing (a promise far too grand for any government to deliver on). It is also home to refugees, foreigners, asylum seekers and people who have been evicted off public land. All the people of Blikkies have been 'forcibly' removed. I have yet to meet a resident who is content with living in Blikkies. People seem to be resolute in their displacement. One woman likened Blikkies to a concentration camp, asking me, “How can we be expected to live like this?” So, many people recognise the abnormality of living conditions but are seemingly immobilised by what I imagine is the sheer magnanimity of their external environment.

Conditions are appalling. Each shelter is approximately 6 meters long and 3 meters wide. These shelters offer no insulation and are made out of corrugated iron sheets. They house up to 6 people and 4 of these shelters share one public toilet that is often blocked/dysfunctional/unhygienic. There are no public bathing facilities and so I assume people collect water and wash  in buckets at home.

On one of my first visits there, I learnt that a WONDERFUL crèche that was started by residents of the community shared a toilet with 'a noncompliant' tuberculosis (TB) patient, making contraction and spread of TB extremely easy. Moreover, there is no health facility on site, (the nearest clinic is several kilometres away), no state facility for the education of children, no entrepreneurial initiatives to encourage skills development and reduce unemployment, no counselling programmes (there are too many children, adolescents and adults who have experienced violence and continue to live with violence who are in desperate need of counselling), no rehabilitation centres....nothing. Blikkies is just a collection of tin shelters inadequately housing the lives of people who continue to be traumatised by movement, displacement, and violence.

So, I'm left wondering, in a situation where housing has been promised and people have been placed in ‘Reserve-like’, spaces, surely government policy would include the uncontested notion that the basic requirements of health and education be met. This is not the case in Blikkiesdorp. Thousands of people are caught in an endless cycle, where people learn violent ways of communication and expression and both children and adults sink further into crime, drugs, and violence.

Being in Blikkiesdorp

Every Saturday we head into Blikkiesdorp to spend a greater part of the morning and afternoon with some of the children who live there. Preparation begins at the beginning of each week, using the lessons we have learnt from the past weekend. I build the lesson-plan for the following Saturday, and on each Saturday, things never go exactly as I "planned". Each week is something different. I find that I am exhausted and often quite spaced-out because I am challenged both physically and emotionally.

On a physical level, I have to manage the lessons and try and ensure that each of the 6 children are not too distracted by their external environment. Essentially there are only two of us who are trying to accomodate about 50 other children AND work specifically with 6 children. I am constantly aware of keeping calm and energised despite the sometimes overwhelming action around us. In one scene, some young people were playing soccer about 10 meters to the right of our tent, a volunteer working with us was playing with about 25 toddlers directly in front of our tent, and to the left of us, about 3 meters away, two women were physically fighting each other whilst several other children looked on, their faces and bodies frozen in the heat.

I remember allowing my eyes to perform a panoramic mental picture. There was sound all around us. Young boys engaged in team sport, children laughing, two women shouting at each other, the thudding sound of fist on flesh, and then the silence of the children watching the violence unfold. This scene to me remains a haunting reminder of the myriad realities that are constantly unfolding.

On an emotional level Blikkiesdorp not only challenges me because it is one of the starkest, barren pieces of land I have ever seen, which saddens me deeply but also because the obvious injustice of its existence brings to the fore massive socioeconomic cracks. There is a fissure in Delft (Blikkiesdorp is situated in Delft) and it exists somewhere between nowhere.

Building Creatively

It has been about one month since we launched Creative Education. There has been MUCH learning, which is brilliant. The children we are working with are phenomenal people who constantly augment my knowledge about a number of things. They consistently remind me to remain flexbile, sensitive and communicative.

We have finally also got out very own domain name!!! You wouldn't believe what a learning it has been for me (Efua). I have designed so very many websites on various online programmes. "Yola. com" was suggested to me by a friend and I have slowly plodded along until this stage.

This first blog post is just an opening few lines. There is so much to say and so much to internalise still. All this and more later. Satnam!